Advice from Carolyn

Not to me, but something I can surely learn from.

Either way, you've got a much bigger issue on your hands than an awkward wedding guest. Either you're both open and accepting of your own pasts as well as each other's, or you're creating a conditional bond -- the condition here being that you spackle over this old friend. The result? He's embracing you less than fully as a person.

Marrying someone under those conditions is a common, completely avoidable mistake. Either he loves you completely, exes and all, history and all, unpleasant mental images and all, and trusts himself to remain your first choice, or you're asking for unhappiness.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/01/27/AR2010012703813.html?nav=rss_opinion/columns